Ramadhan Day 23: Healing From Sadness

Al-An’am [6: 32]: And the life of this world is nothing but play and amusement. But far better is the house in the Hereafter for those who are Al-Muttaqun. Will you not then understand?

Mus’ab bin Sa’d narrated from his father that a man said:

“O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)! Which of the people is tried most severely?”

He said: “The Prophets (peace be upon him), then those nearest to them, then those nearest to them. A man is tried according to his religion; if he is firm in his religion, then his trials are more severe, and if he is frail in his religion, then he is tried according to the strength of his religion. The servant shall continue to be tried until he is left walking upon the earth without any sins.”

(Jami` at-Tirmidhi, Vol. 4, Book 36, Hadith 96)

For healing from sadness, I would like to share one tip, which is shifting our attention from the thing that makes us sad to another thing that we are grateful for.

I was watching a reality TV show in which there was an overweight woman, weighing more than 600 pounds trying to lose weight by having an operation.

At first, the doctor said she can’t undergo the operation until she loses 50 pounds first. The doctor then gave advice on calories intake that she could take in a day and a daily walking exercise.

Following the advice, she did lose 50 pounds and undergo the operation. The operation cut parts of her stomach so that she could not consume a large amount of food in the future, like she used to.

However, she experienced emotional breakdown after the operation. Due to that reason, she failed to lose 30 pounds every month after the operation as suggested by the doctor.

It was easy for her to lose 50 pounds before the operation, but not anymore after the operation due to the emotional breakdown she was feeling.

The doctor then suggested this woman to meet a clinical psychologist.

What amazed me was the suggestion by the psychologist.

This psychologist asked the overweight woman to shift her attention to something that she is grateful for. (Remember the verse about being grateful).

So, the woman immediately mentioned her husband who continuously helped her throughout the hardship she was going through.

He was there, accompanying her to move from California to Texas so that they can be closer to the doctor. He was always there helping her preparing the food, helping her to get up and so on and so forth.

The psychologist suggested her to keep focusing on this instead of her sad feelings. So this woman decided she wanted to make her husband happy.

Now she is the one who prepares food instead of her husband. They went on a date that they have not gone to for years because of her inferior feelings toward her body.

In addition, this woman started going to hair stylist to work on her hair, something that she never cares about for years because of her body. She did that for her husband.

And after that, they went to a studio photographer to have their photos taken together.

This woman was not depressed anymore. Just by shifting her attention to ONE thing around her that she is grateful for, despite her still being 400++ pounds overweight at that time.

You might think that this works well for a married person. For a single person, don’t worry about it. Just think of something else that you could be grateful with.

Another example, if you’re jobless, think of a value that you could offer to others. Be grateful with the thing you’re good at and think how you could help others with the skills that you have.

Think of ONE thing that you’re grateful for and try to expand it just like this woman.

[Backdated post;May 17th,2020]